Finding the words to say goodbye

By the end of Childcare, the class was split into three groups. One was the popular group, one surrounded the teacher asking her questions, and one surrounded my best friend as they all said goodbye to her. I stood at the center of the class looking at the clock. The clock had been broken for sometime now, it never moved and just simply stayed at the same time day after day. I looked at my best friend as she talked happily to everyone, she caught my gaze and smiled at me. I smiled back and turned back to the clock. I made a wish; that it would stay like that for a while and that she wouldn't have to leave. I knew it was never going to come true, but I hoped. I zoned out in my train of thoughts.

"Alright girls, let's head downstairs," The teacher said as she ushered us out. As I walked out the door, I looked at the clock one last time and knew this was going to be a day I would never forget. The day I would see her, my best friend, my sister for the last time. Yeah, we made plans to write and call every day. But nothing ever sticks anymore and I knew, in my heart, that we'll slowly drift apart and she'll forget about me. I found it unfair. Not only was I losing one of the best people in the world, but I was so terrified that I would never get that close to anyone ever again. I walked down the stairs and through the gym doors, secretly hoping that I could avoid a goodbye, but deep down I knew I would feel terrible not saying goodbye.

"Shalen!" She yelled and I turned to look at her. 'Here it comes' I thought. But it didn't so I just followed her to her locker. We shared a joke for a bit and from the corner of my eyes I saw him coming towards me. So I turned to Danyka and hugged her the best I could. I felt my eyes water as I pulled away.

I swallowed a lump in my throat, and before I knew it I was pulled into another hug. I looked up and saw his eyes. Those warm and caring eyes that I've looked in so many times. We had, had a fight earlier that day and he was angry. When I looked into his eyes, I knew the anger he had felt before was gone and all I saw was pain. I will never understand that boy. But it was something in his eyes that made me wanna break down. 

It's like my life was having another big turning point and I didn't know it yet. I know she's not gone forever, maybe we'll meet again someday. We met for a reason. Maybe one day, I'll understand what, but for now I just have to accept it. Accept that everything's always going to change and nothing stays permanent. Life doesn't stop because someone leaves, it goes on. 

This girl; Danyka.

Three years ago, I met this girl; Danyka. She was nothing but another girl in school I had to talk to. For a year and a bit, we walked around school, not really appreciating each other's existence, but we both knew where we stood. We weren't friends but we weren't the best buds either. We were kind of just people who went to school together and had the occasional chat. 

Then suddenly, for no reason at all, we began to talk even more and discovered that we had more in common than we first thought. There was something about her, I don't know what, but somehow she started bringing out a side of me that I never knew I had. She made me just as crazy as her and, in some ways, even crazier. As months passed we became closer and she became the best friend I never had. Every waking moment I spent with her was crazy and always filled with laughter. She told me all about her life and everything that's happened and, honestly, my heart shattered. I never understood how a girl like her, could have gone through so much and still manage to smile and laugh every day. 

At the beginning of this year, our friendship bloomed and we became the best of friends. From day one of school in February until today, every moment we spent together was spent in fits of laughter or pulling stupid faces at each other. We've had random conversations about the most unnecessary stuff, joked around a lot (about 3/4 of the time we were together), shared secrets no one knew about, but most importantly, she is the only person in the world who really understood me. She listened to my hours of complaining, minutes of crying, and put up with my bitchy mood swings. I could talk to her about anything but we chose to joke around more than being serious because being serious was too overrated for us.

This girl, this completely retarded and absolutely crazy girl, was suddenly part of my world. She is one of the few people who can make me forget about my problems by just having a casual phone conversation with her. She made every moment worth living and turned bad situations into something good. I didn't know how someone like her came into my life, but she did and I was grateful.

An hour ago, she told me the worst news I never wanted to hear. She was moving and she's not coming back. Not for holidays, not for visits, she's just not coming back. I knew due to her family problems, and home situation, she didn't want to live here anymore. But I didn't think I'd have a little less than a week to say goodbye to her. Honestly, how do you say goodbye to someone who pretty much changed your whole life within less than a year. How do you say goodbye to a best friend that you depend on so much to be there for you when it comes to the worst. I had just found someone who understood me and could take away all the pain and problems for a while, and she was already leaving. 

I guess they're right about cherishing the moment before it becomes a memory. You never really know how important someone is to you until you're forced to say goodbye to them.