The thing about this, is it expresses every possible word I've been trying to put in a sentence in the past few days. All right here in what this girl answered.
It's just a shame he really can't see that I just want to be friends with him. When he gave up on me, I stayed friends with him because it was what he wanted. Now that it was my choice, it's like I was dropped and became nothing. I know you can never be friends with someone who meant the world to you, but if they're that special, wouldn't you try? Or would you just throw everything away?
Once again, confusion has struck me. I want to be friends with him, but just not right now. Right now, it's way too hard. I can barely look at him without that fucked up feeling coming back. Thank the lord for work experience and the holidays, maybe I'll be okay. I know the pain gets easier though, I've been through it before. The more I go through it, the more experienced I become on how to handle the pain. Right now, I'm just trying to figure out what's going on with my body and why it's fucking up on me. But there will always be the times when I can't help but think about him. Like when I wake up in the morning and think of him or before I sleep and think of him.
I don't know what will be worse, when he first talks to me again, or knowing it took him so long to even start talking to me again.
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